My Worth Isn't Defined by the Number on the Scale

Rachel C. from TennCare

When I was a kid, it was comforting to have a big bowl of mac and cheese. It wasn't until I reached my 20s in college, I wasn't enjoying life, so I decided to make some changes. I lost about 60 pounds. I was so focused on the food. My relationship with food took me to a really dark place.

When I was at my thinnest, I wasn't focused on being healthy. I was focused on taking up less space and trying to adhere to the standards that women need to be skinny to be pretty. I binge ate. I purged. I starved myself. My husband encouraged me to get counseling. That was the real starting point, learning that my worth cannot be defined by a number.

I had maintained a significant weight loss for about 10 years before I came to the state. After two years of working here, I was tired. I wasn't really making it to my workouts. I was grabbing frozen dinners or fast food. I was probably about 15 pounds up from what had been my previous, really healthy weight.

I started taking baby steps, cooking healthy meals, making sure to log those meals and making an effort to work out. I didn't have to go fast. I didn't have to go hard. I just had to go. That helped me start to see the changes that I want. It put me in a better mood. It stabilized my energy throughout the day.

I alternate between doing strength training and cardio. That way, I can maintain the balance of keeping lean, but also building muscle. I've been transformed as a person altogether. At my heaviest, I weighed 200 pounds. At my unhealthiest, I weighed 110 pounds. Today, I'm somewhere in the middle. 

I feel better about myself than I ever have. That has been the greatest progress of my entire journey.