Unicoi County Stories

Megan

My testimony starts in Oct. 1977 when I was adopted. I have an amazing family, lived in an amazing subdivision and had so many amazing friends. When you, however, are adopted, you always have a small piece of your heart missing. The older you get the more you try to find things, people and even drugs to fill that missing void. At the time, I was very co-dependent. I overdosed just to get attention to see who really loved me because I knew I could have gone into cardiac arrest and died. I married my first husband in 1995 and gave birth to my first baby the same year. My second baby was born in 1996, and my third child in 1998. My marriage was not even close to being a “happily ever after” story. After six years of abuse, I found myself running to a women’s shelter. He knew where I lived, where I worked and finally told me if I signed my kids over he would leave me alone. Unfortunately, I did it.

I met my second husband not long after I left my first. I started smoking marijuana, taking Xanax and using acid. I became pregnant with my fourth child and gave birth to her in 2001. I moved to Florida to get away because I knew if I didn’t my life would spiral out of control. When I arrived in Florida, I started taking diet pills, worked two to three jobs at time, hired a lawyer and was able to get custody of my children again. I then decided to return to Tennessee. That’s when I went to the doctor and before I knew it I couldn’t function without taking a Loritab pill. Then it became two then three then four at a time. I would run out and go find more Loritab or diet pills which gave me the speed feeling. After staying in Tennessee for a couple of years, I returned to Florida. I continued taking pain pills and diet pills. When my Nana died and my kids got older, I hit rock bottom. That’s when cocaine became my main drug of choice. Before I knew it, my husband and I were separated, and I became very sexually active and codependent. I broke my wrist, started taking Oxycontin and was then introduced to the pill form of meth. That was it for me. At that point I was using meth, Oxycontin, “Molly,” cocaine and marijuana.

So many nights I would go to sleep thinking “this is how my kids are going to find me.” This lasted nearly seven years. Boyfriends moved in and out. I became homeless with my children three different times and then their father died in 2014 due to his drug lifestyle.  

One day a close friend who used drugs with me overdosed. He had been clean a little over a year and had a beautiful baby girl. Sitting in the bar after celebrating his life, I was high on Xanax and was drinking shots of alcohol. Next thing you know someone said “let’s get some blow (cocaine).”  

A couple of weeks later, I decided to attend a new church.  My co-workers from an old job told me about it, and my son went before he went into the Army. As the pastor's wife was preaching, I sat all the way in the back, and before I knew it at the end of the service I raised my hand to accept Jesus Christ in my life. A couple of weeks after that I was washing dishes after church listening to “I Surrender” by Hillsong. All of a sudden I heard “hit your knees.” I went in the living room, soap suds and all and hit my knees with my arms opened wide. I looked up and said “God, I can’t do this without you. I need you more than ever. I surrender all of me to you. I am yours. Please take this addiction from me and heal me. Use me. Take me and use me. I am yours.” I stayed on my knees for a good 20 mins just begging for forgiveness and surrendering all. The peace, relief, forgiveness and freedom ran all through my veins and my dead heart began to beat again. This was in Sept. 2018.  I was baptized in Nov. 2018. At that point, I was raised to life. The devil had come to me in my dreams three times and tried to steer me in the wrong direction, but God is bigger than all that. Keep Him in your life and the enemy will lose every fight!