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Memorial Tribute

Hayden Carter

Name: Hayden Montgomery Carter
Age: 16
Date of Crash: 08/19/2008
Date of Death: 08/19/2008
Home Town/City: Murfreesboro
County of Fatal Crash: Rutherford
Roadway of Fatal Crash: Burnt Knob Road

Hayden Carter

My son, Hayden, was killed instantly in a single-car accident when his car left the roadway for unknown reasons. I, along with his 2 brothers and 2 sisters, was at home at the time of the accident, which was only 2 minutes away from our house. We all know the moment Hayden left us, as the electricity flickered off when his car hit a utility pole.

All of Hayden’s family and friends were devastated by our loss. However, we all know where he is and we look forward to spending eternity with him and our Heavenly Father. Hayden was a good young man who impacted countless others during his short life. To say he is missed is simply an understatement. Our lives will never be the same. When faced with a situation such as this, you really have to make a choice. You choose to live with the pain, or let the pain live.

We choose to live, to continue Hayden’s story, to love, and to fulfill our purpose here on earth. Live and love fully without regrets, for we do not know what day will be our last.

Hayden was 16 when he died, the following is the letter that I wrote to him for his 17th birthday:

Dear Hayden,

Happy 17th Birthday! I never dreamed that I would not be able to say these words in person to you, but I know you’ll hear them.

I have learned so much since you’ve been gone. I’ve learned that God lets you visit me in my dreams and I am so grateful for that. I’ve learned that your allergy, asthma, and reflux problems as a child were God’s way of allowing me to spend more time with you because your days on earth were much less than I expected and I am so grateful for that. I know that our decision to let you home school this fall granted me time with you that I would not have had otherwise and I praise God for that.

I have come to a greater understanding of my love for God because of you. There is no greater love on earth than a mother’s love for her child. When I think of our reunion, I cannot imagine a greater joy. However, there’s no greater love anywhere than God’s love for us, so how much sweeter will my reunion be with Him? It’s so hard to fathom, but I now have a better understanding.

I’ve also learned that I am doing so much better in dealing with losing you than a lot of people that have lost a child, and I do thank God for that. I know that I am still needed here and I pray that I am faithful and focused on that purpose.

You are an inspiration to me. Thank you for all the joy, laughter, and love that you brought to my life. I have so many memories of you – more than your “share” in a large family and that’s amazing to me. You are so precious. I knew that then and I know that now. How fortunate I am that you were mine for a while. I praise God for that. Every tear that I shed now is such a minimal payment towards the debt I owe God for allowing me to be your mother.

I know you’ll have an amazing party in heaven, but please know that I love you with all my heart and will be celebrating with you in spirit.

Love,
Mom